we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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