I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
