chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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