I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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