this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
