I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize