splinters make it hard to masturbate
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
