her vagine was all disorganized.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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