I want to make a zoo with you.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
