He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
