Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
