I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize
