I wish I only lived at night.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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