Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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