Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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