i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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