o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
