Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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