i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
