marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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