so explain again why im purple
no
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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