I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
