Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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