Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
