Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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