Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
