Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He called his prostate his "boner button".
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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