I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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