Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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