I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
