if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
