sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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