You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize