From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
