the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
