Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize