There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize