That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
