I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
