Taylor Swift is so right about you.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
