I am in a vortex of obligation.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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