wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
