i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize