i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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