Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
