i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
