Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
