They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
