so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
