even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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