Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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