I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
