im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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