im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
