yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
please don't ironically join a cult
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
