I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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