we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize