is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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