I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
