does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
