I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
