Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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