I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
