we have officially lost it.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
