I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
