If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
