Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
