Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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