In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
