Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
So squirting runs in the family.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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