we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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