new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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