I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
