Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
