i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
