If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
