I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
