i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize