I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
