shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I have fence marks all over my body
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