Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize